MLSE AND THE LEAFS; PART 1: They suck, I swear!

The Toronto Maple Leafs are a laughingstock. Actually, that’s being kind. They’re worse than that: they’re a hated laughingstock. It’s true, all you need to do is mention to someone from anywhere in Canada (and maybe a couple of places in the US) that you’re a Leafs fan — or a member of the ‘Leafs Nation’ as MLSE likes to put it — then sit back and listen to the laughter.
Telling people that you know the Leafs suck doesn’t work either, because they won’t believe you. Let me demonstrate:

LEAFS FAN: “I’m a Leafs fan”
HATER: “The Leafs fucking suck”
LEAFS FAN: “Yeah, I know”
HATER: “They’ve always sucked – that’s their thing”
LEAFS FAN: “I admit, they have been pretty shit the last few years”
HATER: “No, always. And they suck now”
LEAFS FAN: “I know, but at least it looks like they’re trying to rebuild”
HATER: “No man, I’m telling you, they suck”
LEAFS FAN: “I know, I know”
HATER: “Bullshit, they suck”

Notice there was no attempt to call up the glory days of the fifties, nor should there have been. Do that and you’ll get shit all over by whoever you’re talking to.

It isn’t all bad news however. To our credit, we’re no longer delusional about the Team. I’m pretty sure a season of watching Jason Allison and Eric Lindros – announced as our saviours – trying to make it in the ‘new NHL’ would be enough to wake up even the most hardcore Leafs optimist. For the first time in a long time the problem with Leafs fans isn’t the unrealistic expectations we as fans place upon this team. No, we know they suck; the problem is the rest of the league doesn’t believe us.